"Are we human,Or are we dancer?
My sign is vital
My hands are cold.
And I'm on my knees
Looking for the answer;
Are we human,Or are we dancer?"-- The Killers (from the song: Human)
"Behold, I am now captive to death because of unlawful counsel.
And I who was for a time robed with the glory of immortality
have become like one dead, wrapped pitifully in the rags of mortality"
--Matins of Meatfare Sunday, Einos, Tone 5 (1)
"But what does it mean, 'for all have sinned' (Rom. 5.12) This: he having once fallen, yet they that had not eaten of the tree inherited mortality ... From this it is clear that it was not Adam's sin, his transgression — that is of the Law — but by the virtue of his disobedience that all have been marred. What is the proof of this? The fact that even before the Law all died: 'for death reigned,' St. Paul says, 'from Adam to Moses, even over them who had not sinned' (Rom 5:14). How did it 'reign'? After the manner of Adam's transgression, he who is 'the type of Him that was to come.' Thus, when the Jews ask, how was it possible for one Person to have saved the world? you will be able to reply, in the same way that the disobedience of one person, Adam, brought its condemnation" (Commentary on Romans, X). (2)
-- St. John Chrysostom
Jean Valjean
I grew up in this generation-- Generation Y.
Born in the year 1989, I spent my elementary days playing The Super Mario on playstation, crying over the death of a friend's Tamagotchi, drooling over cuties such as The Hansons and The Moffats, and going bonkers for the animated series Voltes V and Pokemon.
Then I had a "religious phase" during my first year in high school which persisted through my College days: abandoning Roman Catholicism for Born Again-ism. I went to Youth Jams, joined youth/group sharing, almost became the drummer of that protestant church and other stuff which my mother condoned for the most part because she believed (and rightly so) those would keep me from doing drugs, but it was my own convictions that kept me from societies "bad elements" (I think).
My soul-searching went deep and troubling that during my fourth year of high school I joined a mainstream Communist youth group which, sadly, was (and still is) a shill for the larger umbrella of the Communist Party of the Philippines; I almost ended up mastering in ARAK (short for Aral-Aktibista or, since I don't know how to translate this, Commie Activist crash-course). I even tried to develop my own "liberal theology" by trying to infuse biblical admonitions to Marxist-Lenninist-Maoist thought. I experienced going from house to house ( of mostly friends who were already in-the-know) to study how guerilla warfare works and Jose Ma. Sison's life. I would probably have gotten more A+ for those than I would have gotten C- for Math. Yet, I felt like I was the most unreliable ally to myself, because at the bottom of it all I realized that the very thing lacking was my "identity". I desperately assumed and tried to get my identity from all of my associations-- be they a religious group or a Commie party.
Through-out my youth, I had a "spiritual wanderlust"; I couldn't rest my head on one cornerstone. It had to be a one, up-and-down spiral, search. Yet I was (and still am) asking, as Jean Valjean asked: "Who am I?"
I can't run away from who I am: I was born wrapped in mortality as a result of Adam and Eve's sin, in the same vein that Jean Valjean could not run away from who he really was: An escaped convict for a loaf of bread. Ultimately, and I am proud to say this, because it is the only thing I can be proud of, like my hero Jean Valjean, I chose to face the truth: though not born bearing the guilt of my forebears, I was born with DEATH stamped upon me. Death is unnatural because we were made in God's image thus we were supposed to be immortal. But sin entered the world, and in God's perfect mercy, He banished the first man and the first woman from the Paradise so that they would not become immortal in sin.
It's God's gift that I chose; that I couldn't stop looking for answers for the question "Who am I?". Not even my faith could ever take account for what happened to me. And as I continued my quest, I ended up looking for the true faith Christ Himself established on earth through His apostles.
Like Jean Valjean, I let myself be swept away in God's truth and forgiveness. I'm close to home
Footnote:
1&2 http://www.orthodoxresearchinstitute.org/articles/dogmatics/golubov_rags_of_mortality.htm
Photo credit to:
http://ysfaye.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/jean-valjean.jpg
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