Orthodox Christianity: My Conversion

(A continuation of Orthodox Catholicism: Faith-Based and Action-Oriented part 1)

http://abrahamsdescendant.blogspot.com/2014/02/orthodox-christianity-faith-based-and.html

So what was I searching for? It was clear to me that what I was looking for was a Church who could help me grow spiritually and make me certain that the one I believe in is the pillar and ground  of Truth-- a Church that has ties with Christ; the Church whom Christ is going to come back for. Contemplating on this, it revitalized in me my yearning to belong to that Church. 

So I started with churches which had a more traditional leanings albeit protestant, and the one that caught my attention was Eli Soriano's ADD program (the name of the church he built is "Members Church of God International"). This group strove to follow what original Christianity has done (this is called Christian Primitivism or Restorationism)-- a rather novel idea from classic Protestants such as Zwingli and Calvin (both former Roman Catholics). I was impressed by the way Eli Soriano had his exposition: he used sola scriptura effectively and efficiently and his dry, acerbic wit won the hearts of mostly anti-Roman Catholic sentinels (and non-practicing Roman Catholics as well), the MCGI has earned the ire of another rival protestant INC (Iglesia Ni Cristo). (Soriano and the Manalos--the INC corporate family have been throwing each other mud balls ever since Soriano called Felix Manalo a rapist of girls, and INC members called Soriano a gay rapist... Wait, what the heck: they're BOTH rapists?)

As cheesy as this may sound, but the truth is I prayed to God and asked Him if this was indeed the truth. So I asked Him a sign. There was no answer overnight. But it seems Divine Providence guided me into further researching. Although I majored in English, I have always been a fan of 20th century European history. I loved scouting for books about Hitler and the Holocaust. I took time reading and re-reading bios and interpolations of scholars on the life of Hitler and other infamous 20th century dictators. Then it hit me. I started searching through the internet about the names I have met before: David Koresh, Jim Jones, Joseph Smith. L. Ron Hubbard, etc., all having the common thread of "god complex". I hate to break it to anyone patronizing the said names, but if anyone tries to sell religion, the best way is to at least make yourself a convincing arbiter of any holy writ.

Hitler sold his ideas by Ubermensch-- in this case he was the superman of the third reich. David Koresh and Jim Jones had this wonderful idea that they alone were hearers of other-worldly voices, Joseph Smith sort of copied the Muslim prophet Muhammad claiming two angels gave him "a bible" in a cave somewhere. L. Ron Hubbard turned science fiction into a religious belief, effectively fooling some hollywood big shots. Not that I detest the freedom to believe in anything you want to believe in, but at least, be very respectful of human intellect, of yourself, and do some intense soul-searching before taking that leap of faith. Many were not careful and they became willing tools for massive genocide and canon fodder for apparent dictators.   

Apparently, this reality of an over-controlling leader became a repellant for me. Eli Soriano, just like the Manalos of Iglesia Ni Cristo, could be the next poster boy for a potential ala-Westboro Baptist Church patriarch. There are many things in what he said in his program that contradicted sane historical and biblical analysis-- it's not enough that you know how to read the Bible and what books to read in the Bible for certain topics. For instance, Soriano (and some Manalistas do this) would use auto search of a particular word or phrase in the Bible, and when it's not found, he rules the word out as non-existent in "proper theology" and therefore claims it to be "heretical". Back then, I immediately found this problematic: The ADD group headed by Soriano is fond of using King James Version (I think that he is one of those KJV-ONLY Christians), and he only uses Catholic Bibles for proof texting. If one uses an auto-search for certain keywords, and it so happens that a particular Bible doesn't have that word BECAUSE it's King James Version Bible, then to declare a word, or phrase, or statement "unbiblical" IS BIASED. What if that particular word appears in Koine Greek, or Latin, or Arabic? Furthermore, auto-search softwares (or engines) are limited in their design-- softwares like the ones he fondly uses DOES NOT include the essential, historical and contextual use of a certain phrase or word. In this respect, Soriano is no better or worse than the Manalo clan; a short-sighted, messed up theology, based on pseudo-intellectualism (BOTH heretical cult leaders CLAIM to understand Hebrew and other ancient languages.) can hardly be called Christianity.

The warnings were blinking blood red. So I had to back off.

I turned my sights to Roman Catholicism.

This was during my fourth year in college that I began reading into Roman Catholic teachings-- the infallibility of the Pope, Original Sin, Purgatory, hell, atonement, Mary's immaculate conception, celibacy of the clergy, etc., I have to admit that there were still in me the Protestant "allergy" against any sort of hierarchy. I had questions like: Why is the Pope infallible? In what aspect is he infallible? Is Original Sin a satisfying explanation on why we sin and why God loves us? Is there a purgatory? What is hell? Is hell a physical realm? Was Mary born unblemished? ETCETERA.

As I continued my search, juggling my studies with it, I realized I have unearthed something MORE than I could take. The answers I found for my questions were thorny (until now, they are) and answers were coupled with even more agonizing queries which I had to wrestle on my own with God. At this point in my life, I was a total train wreck, I had no one to turn to. I had no spiritual guide. And some nights, I cry myself to sleep thinking about the poor state of my soul. This coincided with the fact that I had almost given up studying in college because of financial problems (I wanted to ask my mother if I could stop studying and get a job) and I was preparing for the pre board exam. I felt like I was floating in air or something like that-- like I had Red Horse poured into my veins.

At this point also, I drank. I didn't know how I developed this tasteful need for beer (until now I drink, occasionally). I started letting go of my "search". All of a sudden this great depression pressed against me, To ward it off, I became a vulture at school devouring thesis, fell in and out of love, befriended misery, joined extracurricular projects at college, drifted, taught, tutored, drank some more, partied some more, did thesis again (First proposal, rejected, second one was shitty but it was OK'd for no apparent reason except because it was for ENGLISH), forced to love Statistics even when I found it repulsive. But all these carrying on could not hide my insatiable need to learn the truth. I could have gone agnostic or atheist; but the fact of there is something rather than nothing is what kept me fueled. With desire to search for the True Faith (in Greek, Orthodoxy means correct glory), I knew I couldn't give up just yet.

SO I dug in for a while Roman Catholicism.

I found that Papal Infallibility, mandatory clerical celibacy, Mary as co-redemptrix, Mary's immaculate conception, Fatima, even the doctrine of Original Sin and Substitutionary Atonement, were recent innovations. Plus, the Crusades, numerous wars the Roman Catholic Church had been involved, "Doctrine of Discovery"-- series of papal bulls stating that any land which were "discovered" by Catholic imperialists must be declared "Catholic" regardless of the inhabitants' protestations; be Roman Catholic and surrender to the Monarchy, or die.

To cut the long story short, I dug my way waaay back and the final destination was Eastern Orthodox Catholicism (or in short hand, Orthodox Christianity). Don't get me wrong. I don't hate Roman Catholicism. I don't cast a sly look at protestants who became Roman Catholics. But my conversion wasn't based on whims of feelings. I encountered self-doubt and I doubted God in the process. I needed evidence that the Holy Trinity INDEED built a Church that is a hospital for those who need her and at the same time historical and biblical; where the Mysteries of God are alive in the Mass (Orthodox Christians call this Divine Liturgy), where there is a direct lineage from Christ Himself and the Apostles down to the Priests today, where today's faithful can celebrate the Eucharist together with the Saints in heaven, all of these I found in the Orthodox Church. I don't know how some people found their way from Protestantism to Roman Catholicism, but I do know that the claims of Orthodox Catholicism corroborate well what the Bible describes the Church to be and Church History.